okay so making my own weed pills is not that hard thankfully I was worried about getting discouraged if it was hard or messy but basically just a coffee grinder bacon grease (they say use canola oil or coconut oil) from what I understand more fat+heat=your pills. I'm figuring it's gonna take me a week or so to figure out dosing schedule and how that's supposed to go. I need to get some ink so I can re print my application for here, you know in Oregon pretty much all I have to do is show medical necessity have my doctor fill out a form saying what I have and if he thinks I will benefit. then I mail that and a registration form and two hundred dollars and that's it. Pretty simple process I still gotta get my license renewed stupid thing expired on my birthday. I'm not sure what all I'm gonna learn in this but I've still been scouring the web for information on the benefits, I can tell you there is a plethora of all the good things about weed. . . . . .before all of this I would have scoffed and found many many reason to say NO to drugs. Sad thing is all those reasons I had circle in my head and I know that for the rest of my life those reasons will be thrown at me. . . .. .. ...never did I think the day would come when me of all people would be illegally doing drugs simply for the medicinal purpose.
I was a rough n ready teenager I've done a few drugs recreational y. . .achmmm all when I was waaay younger and I have not touched anything but an occasional toke and lots and lots of beer since my children were born. I walk a straight line with them in my mind all the time never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever be in this place, and in my opinion with no choice, and the further I delve into the research and all the potential that this has medically I'm so disgusted that it is even considered still illegal, I'm angry that a synthetic TNF inhibitor that can cause cancer is shoved down my throat before a natural TNF inhibitor is even suggested or even better did you know that THC and CBD have been found to be cancer fighters? and the research is elsewhere because of legality issues. It just makes me sick. . . . .and I still have the flu so even more irritated. I can tell when the canna-caps are wearing off cause I get a body ache from the flu. . . . .. I'm ecstatic to report that my mobility has increased I'm still having random warnings in my hips but I figure I have to establish this in my system the same as if I would for the synthetic TNF's so I'm giving it a cpl months to fully be gone and I can in total honesty report that in the short time I've been trying this, my mood has totally elevated maybe because I don't spend my entire days trying to ignore some pain or another. I've walked more than I have in years and my hips should be out of place honestly with how many times I tripped and stepped down to hard I should have pulled my sciatica even on the prednisone. I am laughing and I mean really laughing not half laughing like I've been doing forever.
Only time will tell if this is all due to canna-caps or just in general a better feeling from being off the steroids etc. I was worried about being stoned all the time but if you are actually intending this to be medicinal there are many many was to "boil" off the thc so you only get the medicinal cbd and this is my goal I don't want my spiral into the dark world of drugs lol to be misconstrued into anything but what it is. I have had relief and this is so hard to express to someone who doesn't live with a chronic condition. My body is a cage a dark and painful place that has kept my very soul hostage for many many years, I've watched as this wretched angry hurting body has taken over my life and cried as the beautiful soul I had always believed myself to be just "died". I went from being thoughtful and outspoken witty and a hard worker, to angry, withdrawn, bitter, over critical, and flat out a bitch. Certain days I would hear myself and I'd inwardly cringe at how awful I was being. I have caught glimpses of my old self again and I'm hooked I want it. I'm still in here, once the pain dulled back I realized I'm still in here and I will be damned if I ever forget it again. This is my life and my body, obviously I know what works better than any doctor. For me there is no longer a choice, after the first day when I laughed with my family and walked everywhere, I knew there was no going back, I will fight for this to be my treatment.
After I get my card here if everything goes as planned we will be headed back to Ohio soon enough and then I will go right back to be illegal. . .... ..... I haven't smoked at all in two days mostly due to flu but maybe I'll quit for good or at least for a while, did I mention that pot wouldn't hurt a pregnancy? new studies even dispel the low birth weight that I used to hear. bleck sneezing again I'm headed to my recliner with my heating pad and a blanket.
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