ginger stops the burn

so I haven't written in about a week because my right shoulder has still been really flared out and brings tears to my eyes if I move it the wrong way. . . . .that's saying it hurts A LOT. Yesterday it was almost like I wasn't on anything the burn was back in my upper back with a vengeance and I spent most of the day trying to get away from myself. When I can't ignore it I'd rather be anywhere but in my head, it's a trapped feeling it's a helpless feeling and I absolutely hate it. I burned and ached all day, every joint seems to filling with inflammation making nowhere comfortable and nothing safe.

After suffering all day I started to really think about what has been different and the only thing different was that I have stopped drinking ginger tea out of whatever reason I forgot mostly and I have to keep it frozen so it takes a few minutes to make....... three glasses of ginger tea and my shoulder was feeling about 50 percent better and the burn was gone. Needless to say I have learned the importance of not forgetting the stuff that works and a little effort is better than a lot of burn. I hate how I get when in pain I withdraw and hardly talk keep myself busy to the point of exhaustion and stupidity. I washed the truck yesterday and cleaned the house and whatever else I could to not sit down and be mauled by the kids. I feel tremendous guilt because I barely like being cuddled when I'm not in pain because my kids are so big now the cuddles hurt any ways even if I'm not hurting at first. But when I'm flared out I absolutely do not want touched. My poor kids are going to grow up emotionally scarred to my lack of physical love.

I feel better this morning feel a slight burn and my arm hurts on my first glass of ginger root and green tea followed by two of my pills. I feel more alert than I have in days that is a huge plus. I really didn't think it made this much of a difference good thing I'm not playing around with anyone else's health cause if a doctor was doing this to me I'd be pissed that he couldn't stick to what worked.
I still haven't gotten the nerve to go and get my license and make that doctor apt. I'm almost terrified of being dismissed and I know my Rhuematologist will be calling soon I've missed apt.s I can't hide forever but I wanted a little time to see if I can really get it working before I went in again. to be able to show them the marked difference and that it was working no matter how controversial and that my quality of life was more important to me than what is socially accepted as the norm. Although I personally am never going back I completely understand the desperateness of anyone who turns to the injections. yesterday alone was enough to make me think about the prednisone again and start telling myself that the damage was already done with the pred and I could maybe consider going back on it at least till the inflammation leaves my shoulder. . . . .Jeania Smith standing tall  although slightly hunched