nine weeks and counting

two days have passed and I've only puked once :) super happy about that. Maybe now I can start taking my pills as my back and ribs are slowly starting to feel like a sledge hammer was taken to them again. . . . .. .I was kind of hoping that it would go into remission while I was pregnant but I guess it's kind of a good thing it doesn't cause to be blissfully pain free for nine months and then BAM would suck really bad at least this way my pain tolerance will stay pretty high instead of shocking me. It seems as though I'm going to have every symptom of pregnancy this go around I have Erythema Nodosum popping up on my legs as of yesterday, I thought I had been bruising myself or something till I realized I've barely even moved in a week due to the crippling nausea so how the hell was I bruised and then I looked at them. . . .they are red and raised and puffy looking with hard knots in the middle and they hurt when you press on them. Of course I googled it as in my opinion the internet has the same amount of information as a doctor does if you just know where to look, and sure enough figured it out on my own. My OB wanted to send me to a nutritionist why I'm not sure but when the lady told me my insurance would cover eighty percent I was like well it can be more than like twenty bucks then right? ummm no the lady wanted a hundred n eighty I laughed at her and canceled my apt. I've even been considering a home birth just to stop all the poking and prodding and people acting like they know more about my body than I do, I understand that when small pox and the plague etc. was around people blindly followed doctors as they seemed to be magicians of life but honestly I find out more about my disease online than I ever have a doctor, i figured out how to treat my own pain without the help of a doctor. I don't intend to ever blindly follow again OH and the ob wanted me to see a nurse once a week. . . . .  .ummm WHY? to charge the crap outta my insurance? to send me needlessly searching for a baby sitter once a week and rearranging schedules to suit it? I think not, I realize I'm higher risk than average but women have been giving birth since forever without a whole lot of doctor's interference and I'm pretty sure my body is the one figuring out how to have a baby not theirs. doctor's and their I know better than you cause I read a book attitude is really pissing me off this is my body and my baby I refuse to be a guinea pig for them. You would think I offered the OB some rare disease that she stands the chance of curing the way she is trying to send me to specialist n shit, I got this lady leave me alone