I'm only getting about four n a half hours of sleep a night and it's really starting to take it's toll on me I'm exhausted and grouchy. It doesn't help that my four year old very large son randomly crawls into bed with me always on my side n always on top of me. With only those four hours you wouldn't think I would have laid in one spot long enough to stove up but my right side hurts every morning in my ribs. I cannot bitch to much as I will not soon forget the day I had without my pills in my system at all. Funny how you get used to a certain amount of pain and then forget how much it can actually hurt and when it hurts full blown your like I didn't have anything to bitch about before.
I wish there was a cure, I wish I wasn't afraid of passing this onto my kids, I cannot help but be afraid and wonder if it's selfish to want children with a disease that I can pass on. I wonder if they will hate me for it when they realize what I risked passing on. I also then think that why shouldn't I enjoy as many children as I want? I've learned to cope with mine and I do not wish myself unborn, I enjoy my life for the most part. Pretty sure I'm going to keep a head cold this entire pregnancy. I considered for a brief second that during pregnancy would be the best time for me to go vegan maybe and see if tha helps the pain but then I thought about a fried piece of chicken and yea I wont make it so not even gonna try to make some sort of promise to anyone reading this I don't have that kind of willpower. The only thing I hope for during this pregnancy is not to blow up to bad I have horrid eating habits but for the most part am not an over eater.
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