I've been switched to the humira and took that shot last week, really good thing about it is that it's every two weeks, I vomited all day but so far no extra heart palpitations. I've also added a blood pressure pill to my regimen, needless to say this is a bit daunting, doc said it has nothing to do with my diet all my cholesterol is in the right place meaning that no matter how holistic I tried to approach this I am not in control of my blood pressure. oddly enough I do feel better from this little pill, I don't feel my pulse pounding when I go from sitting to standing which I have felt for quite some time. Tons of other Little small things that I've noticed doesn't make my blood pound like it used to. I also tried to go on an anti depressant but only took it for about a week before I just quit, I had a friend staying with me and she couldn't find my son, she came in my room and tried to wake me up like shook my foot trying to wake me up and I didn't budge thankfully my son was actually squished under the covers with me otherwise this could have turned out really really badly.
I feel no difference yet with the biologics, well maybe a little better in the morning but still stiff and still hurting on a pain scale its went down from about an eight to a six, but this could be because I now am taking naproxen at bedtime again, its eating my stomach I have acid reflux all day, I still fight the urge to take a nap every single day, I hate feeling this tired, and every time I take a nap I feel guilty like I have given up on myself and am denying some awesome thing from happening if I could just stay awake. Humira is forty dollars a month, pain pills thirty, stomach pill fourteen, muscle relaxer seven to ten, doc apt. twenty plus gas, its adding up quickly we are spending over a hundred dollars a month on my med bills and that not even paying for the x rays that are now in the thousands and the hospital bill from last year, this may sound awful but I just throw them away there is no way we can get on top of them and hopefully once we have a set plan in place to handle all of everything if I can just keep current on the doc apt and the meds then after seven years the others wont count any more.
I still am hating it here alone in the middle of the desert, my friend was staying with me and thankfully took over dinner duties etc. during injection day last week, I've also moved them to Jake's days off so I wont be alone. Still hoping some magic happens soon my back is fricking hurting even as I type this, I wanna wake up in no pain!!!let it hit me sometime later in the day for the love of Pete not when I first wake up.
Someone posted something I feel very thoughtlessly to my wall about how the power of god and positive thinking would heal me. One I do not believe in the human god that's in the bible, however I'm very spiritual and believe wholeheartedly in the power of positive thinking and or positive energy forces etc. and if you knew one ounce of me you would have known this would insult the crap outta me, I have done nothing but keep positive about thinking this would just go away until I literally broke, I forced myself every single day to function as if it didn't exist, to repeat a mantra in my head "you can do this you can do this, don't let them See it hurts, if they don't see you win" I only broke out of my isolated hell of pain and torment when I was suicidal, this blog is a direct result of my having "hid" it. This is me and no amount of positive thinking herbal diets cleansing my aura etc. is going to make this disease go away, believe me I've tried, went totally organic,cut out meat, carried certain stones in my pockets meant for healing, read several Wicca prayers meant for healing, etc. etc. etc. No asking a church to pray for me did not come into play nor will it ever, if there is a god I do not believe I have to follow cult like behaviour to receive his blessings. I do not believe the hatred those people spew, next time you wanna help and bring me some kind of snake oil, please just don't it's sooooo insulting
Jeania Standing Tall
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