These humongous needles bruise the crap out of me, I took the shot after my shower this morning and wasn't hit immediately with the nausea was thinking things were gonna go okay for all of about an hr, then proceeded to throw up twice, barely manage to throw food at the kids and proceeded to pass out for the past two n half hours. I feel like I ate a smelly ball of garbage my stomach is burning and queasy but there isn't anything in there. The familiar burn ache in my back is still there, n to top it off the side effects are making me unable to do a damn thing to my house and my husband left it gross as hell. I need to clean really really badly and think if I manage to just get the bathroom up to my standards I'll feel better. Feeling little sorry for myself not gonna lie. I want my house to be clean for the fourth of July just in case I manage to meet a few new people, and I'm dragging such ass I don't see how I'm gonna get it done.
Another of the massively huge disappointments of being here, I would call for help today but I have no one to call.I have one friend whom I know would be here if she could but she lives three hours away, I have no support system as my children have sat here watching cartoons and terrorizing the cat for the two n half hours I literally passed out on them. please let there be some sort of magic under these big ass needles. I miss the anxiety that used to have me as a military wife on my hands and knees with a toothbrush before people came over, not so much the inability to sleep because of it part but the energy to clean like that without drugs, I could pop a cpl Vicodin and that may help I suppose but I'm throwing up already and those things are not something I want to waste by throwing them up. sadly they are a lifeline to even my best days. I consider my best days is when they r working enough I can resemble the work horse I used to pride myself on being.
starting to lose hope in the enbrel, still hurt every morning, still burn all day, I've puked more today than I care to count. my stomach is doing that ache where there isn't anything in it but if I put something in it I'm puking. today is not a good day. . . . .funny it started out pretty good was sunshiny n pretty Vicodin kicked in pretty early was preparing for the fourth, now have to sit back and go at a snails pace and just hope to accomplish some of my house and not feel like a failure because I can't do near what I think I should.morale of this post, this crap sucks the life out of me, I hate it, I feel weak because it does makes me feel like a whiner, like I'm not woman enough to handle my business. My mood today has swung from one end of the pendulum to the other, the kids were awesome while I napped and in the few hours I was trying to drag myself around they threw boxes in the little swimming pool and took tire sealant for a kids bike and poured it in for good measure.
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