ginger and green tea

Have finally added it back to my diet n this morning is the first time in weeks I haven't woke up feeling like I broke a rib on my left side. . . . waking up is usually borderline traumatic for me I can barely breathe without it hurting in two diff place there is something in my sternum that's out. Dead center deep breathing makes it hurt sharp stabs of WTF? I feel really good not having that rib out though feels nice to be able to yawn n stretch without it being interrupted by knives shooting through my body.

Pregnancy wise I seem to b doing well I'm still really worried bout my little peanut your immune system is supposed to be suppressed during pregnancy when mine is constantly on over load any more I worry if any of it is affecting the baby. I have an appointment with the rhuematologist nurse on weds. I don't like the nurse she is the one who walked in with someone else's charts then told me I didn't have what I was diagnosed with. I wonder how they are going to handle the fact I took myself off everything? I wonder what they will say when I tell them I took myself off 20 milligrams of  prednisone cold turkey, that I went through withdrawals and hurt for a week but survived just fine and have controlled and managed me pain way better than they could. I still obviously am struggling but since I had the brain fart that I can attempt to treat this myself I've found way more relief.

I seriously wish that they wouldn't make the TNF's out to be some amazingly awesome drug, it is a band aid that doesn't stop or slow the progression and it comes with a blanket of side effects. Then again I know how desperate it can get to make the pain stop, hell when mine's at its worst suicide seems like a friend. I'm a little worried cause I've been reading a site that allows arthritis doctor's to post about their experiences and people in chronic pain are called whiners and made fun of and I'm not gonna lie I'm gonna walk in there with an attitude.  I'm a person and just because you think I'm whining about pain like a toddler means you do not understand this pain isn't like stubing my toe, I know what that feels like and I also used to be a cutter enjoyed the pain release I have a high tolerance when I finally come and ask for help it's because I feel the amount of pain a normal person would feel after being hit by a bus and ran over by ALL the wheels. I deserve and demand respect am so sick of being treated as a junkie goooooddddd!! if it wasn't for my baby I would never go back screw all doctor's they are all closet cowards n assholes!!!